One of my heroes through my teenage years and college as well was the Radical Scottish Psychaitrist and Author R D Laing, here's an extract from his wonderful book Knots, which is all about how we conduct relationships:

Once upon a time, when Jack was little,

he wanted to be with his mummy all the time

and was frightened she would go away



later, when he was a little bigger,

he wanted to be away from his mummy

and was frightened that

she wanted him to be with her all the time



when he grew up he fell in love with Jill

and he wanted to be with her all the time

and was frightened she would go away



when he was a little older,

he did not want to be with Jill all the time

he was frightened

that she wanted to be with him all the time, and

that she was frightened

that he did not want to be with her all the time



Jack frightens Jill he will leave her

because he is frightened she will leave him.