Here's a quick short story I wrote earlier in the year. Praise is welcome, criticism is not. Constructive or Otherwise.

START

Jesus you fucking prick do you get the point here? He wants the glasses, they are going to pay for them, it’s nothing to do with you. Jesus.

Daithi, maybe you’d like to take a few minutes and calm down? Outside.

I looked around the table, 12 or 13 stony faces stared back at me. White coats, white uniforms, some suits and then me, 22 years old and wearing jeans. Okay I’ve always had problems with authority and in particular Doctors. I mean how the hell are they supposed to become normal human beings? They study each evening from the time they go home from school to the day they leave secondary schools just to get the 9 A1s they need to get to college and then in college they have to study all the hours God sends and then in the hospitals they make them work 90 hours a week until they graduate. and people say their bedside manner has deteriorated! Mother of Gods they have the emotional development of an 11 year old so what do you expect?

I held my breath in my mouth. Fuming. Wanting to lash out. Desperately getting control of myself, focusing on a point against the wall. I stood up and slowly put one foot in front of each other until I reached the door. I didn’t look back at all.

I stood outside,heart pounding in my chest, breath shallow. All around me people went on with their busy work. Fuck I’m in trouble now. The door opened, it was Irene, the head Social Worker. She pulled out a packet of fags and nodded outside. We walked and nothing was said. My heart beat faster, I could feel bile rising in the back of my mouth.

Listen you are right, but the way you are going about it is going to get everyone’s backs up, I’m going to be called in to see the Head Consultant now. I’ll smooth it but in the meantime I want you to apologise and while it’s nice to see you getting so passionate you need to calm down and channel it better.
Now go sort out those glasses.

The relief flooded over me, I almost tripped over I ran so fast back to the office. I picked up the phone and rang the Body Positive number
hi Sean? Daithi here from James’ Hospital? yeh let’s go with the raybans, can we get them today, not sure if he’s going to last many more days... cool, I’ll meet you in town.

I’ve never been shopping for Raybans with a gay fella before, its quite a buzz, and of course I was paranoid that all the shop assistants would think we were a couple, and of course they did! but it was a laugh and over a few hours and many shops Sean told me about how he became HIV positive and how he hooked up with the support agency he now worked for, and lurid tales of Catholic bishops in massage parlours and saunas. Of hte priest who collapsed in a notorious ‘gym’ and another priest gave him the last rites before legging it! We did lunch, drank coffee and made friends and discussed Daniel O’ Donnell’s sexual orientation. I laughed so hard latte exited my nose.

Heading back on the bus and staring into the Dublin drizzle I couldn't help feeling that maybe I’d pitched myself in too deep here, I was only a student after all, 22 years old and working in the GUM clinic of St James Hospital. Sadly this has nothing to do with mouths and everything to do with Genito- Urinary Medicine. The clap clinic, ladies and gentlemen. And really I wasn’t handling it oh so well. My head was being blown apart by what I was hearing from people about their lives, their sexual behaviour and the impending death of some of my clients, add to that my pathological fear of hospitals and my complete and utter phobia of hypodermic needles and really my natural arrogance and over confidence had pitched me in the shit again. At least Irene was on my side maybe I’d get out of this with a decent mark after all, maybe one day I would really graduate. Maybe. An maybe I was way way out of my depth, but today wasn’t about me, today I had something important to do, a dying wish to fulfill.

Colin was sitting up in bed, he looked so pale, the karposa’s syndrome covered most of his face with a glaring red rash so he had one fragile hand placed protectively in fornt of his proud face. Vane to the last, fair play to him. His long black hair still shone and his eyes lit up.
Good news?
Good news.
The Scooter?
Not the Scooter.
The Sunglasses?
I grinned as I revealed the raybans from behind my back, he screamed in delight, and threw his arms around me, I could feel his bones beneath his silk pyjamas, I could feel his heart pounding. He felt so fragile, so weak, it reminded me of other people I had known who had died, of my cousin Wendy who died when we were ten, who wasted away with cancer and how we used to push her around in a kiddies buggy near the end. She didn’t take any shit though. Right up until the end she took no shit. He let me go and swung his legs over the side of the bed, I took his forearn and led him onto the floor, stopping only to put on his slippers. He took the glasses reverently and slid them on. A perfect fit.
How do I look?
a million dollars Col, a million dollars.
The whole ward had stopped and were looking.He spoke clear and loud.
Well how do i look?
A big nurse was smiling.
You look great ya eejit.
I could hear people murmuring in agreement.
A mirror, a mirror, get me a mirror.
He hadn’t looked in a mirror for quite some time now.
Oh I look fabulous, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I hugged him again and said I’d see him later. I never did. When I came back on Monday he was dead. As per his last will they buried him in his raybans.


END

and another


START

Goodbye to Jenni

Good man Daithi, fancy some breakfast?
I looked up groggily from the couch. The T.V. was blaring daytime telly, the kitchen door was open and a fella was smiling at me. I guessed he was the one who had asked the question.
Yeh, cheers thanks. Cup of tea would be great, and a bit of toast.
How about a big dirty fry? It was said in a deep southern accent.
oh jesus no. cheers, thanks. god no, dont think my stomach could take it. anyway I’m a veggie.
Ah sure I know that! Just testing. Sure I know all you vegetarians yearn for a bit of bacon. You can you know I wont tell anyone.
Jesus if if I was going to I couldn't stomach it today. What did we get up to anyway?
You mean you dont remember? Ah you’re a good one! Oh there’s some craic ahead when Jennie finds that out. Hoo hoo you are the mutts nuts boy, that you are!
I looked around me at the dishevelled sitting room, table filled with tobacco, cigarette papers, mugs of half drunk tea, empty cans of beer. It looked like quite a night alright.
I tried to get my cold brain started, I remembered smoking with Rosie and Tom in the flat in Portrush, then Fyfe and Harry calling round. Harry saying something about Pete driving to Ballymena to see Charlie to score. I remember getting in the car.. then.. blank. Maybe we had crashed in Ballymena or at some friend of Harry’s.
I thought I’d start off easy I mean the guy obviously knew me so no point freaking him out.
What time of day is it?
About three, you’ve been sleeping away happy since about 9, the others crashed upstairs. I’ll give them a shout in a while and sure we can see what we are going to do with the rest of the day, and tonight.
Great, any idea what day is it then?
What day is it? Jesus you are the boy! oh that’s a good one! its tuesday, no thursday, no saturday, what day is it?! oh you’re funny man.
Right not getting any info there, oh remote control! Press the teletext, no teletext. Fuck.
Oh well, I pulled the cigarette papers towards me, and took out three. I put two to my lips and gently licked the end of them. I stuck them together and turned them flat on the table. I took the other skin, licked it along its length and stuck it to the back of the others, smoothed it down with my fingers.
I looked up, the tea arrived in a strong fist. The fella smiled behind it.
Start as you mean to go on boy, start as you mean to go on.
I nodded and slurped my tea, it hit an empty well of a stomach and the realisation bit that I hadn’t eaten anything for days. Panic tried to rise. I held the mug tightly until I calmed a bit.
I concentrated on rolling the joint, adding the tobacco, crumbling the hash in a fierce meditative manner. I added the roach, sat back and sparked it up. I inhaled deeply, right down into my tantien and felt the calm wave fill my body, out from my centre to my extremities.
Jaysus you’re loving that! Dont be moving in to it boy. Make sure it gets over here.
Time enough yourself boy, the first of the day cant be rushed.
True true, your wise enough Daithi lad. So you dont really remember anything of last night? He had a wry smile curling at the corner of his mouth.
No fuck all. And dont you be making up stories either. Jaysus you know I might have to be thinking of heading home soon...
Home? home? I thought you’d moved in here! He laughed. Jenni wont be happy to hear of you moving back up to the cold north. Anyway sure its not a journey to be starting this late in the day sure it’d be a good 8 hours or so on the bus. how would you get there anyway?
Guess the bus? maybe through Dublin? my heart started to pound in my chest.
Aye Dublin would be sensible. Have you folks you could stop off with?
Oh aye, relief flooded in again, oh aye good mates in Phibsboro.
A girl? he looked intently at me now.
No God no, just mates, the lads. They all play in bands dont know if you’ve heard of any? In Motion, Pet Lamb, The Jubilee Allstars, Dogday?
Ah sure Pet Lamb are great sure they play down here all the time! Oh man they rock! which one do you know?
Dave, the drummer.
Oh jaysus he’s brilliant! Fair play lad. Think I’ve heard of the Jubilee Allstars too, any good?
Great, kind of lo- fi you know?
He nodded. blankly, then stood up.
Right time to wake the posse, you sure you dont remember anything?
If you keep that slagging up I’m fucking off, right?
Fair enough boy, fair enough. He laughed again. A nice laugh in fairness.
So here was the rub, I was bolloxed in the deep south somewhere, no idea where, no idea when and no idea who with, and it looked like I had hooked up with a girl and God above only knew what she looked like but I was about to find out....
A clatter of footsteps on the stairs and one, two, three, four fellas half fell, half ran down the stairs, all in Doc Martens boots, a horrible thought crossed my brain, Jesus no, I couldn't have .. no Jennie couldn't be .. a fella could she?
Your out of luck boy, the beautiful Jennie has already taken herself off to the leisure centre for a swim. Must be keeping herself fit for you like.
Now I had four grinning faces to contend with.
You already smoking boy jesus youre an animal, or so Jennie told us.
Much laughter.
Any breakfast going? the lad at the back spoke.
Get it your fucking self.
Jesus Sean no need to be like that.
Good one name, Sean the fella I’d had breakfast with. I locked it away in my brain.
I fancy a walk lads, get some air in these lungs, anyone up for a stroll.
Jesus no its freezing out there Daithi.
Well sure maybe i’ll walk to the shop, anyone need anything?
We could do with more fags, and skins, and milk at least.
Grand sure I’ll be back in ten. I better take a joint 4 the road.
Good man, good man, one of the other fellas was laughing, no change in you then Daithi boy!
I sat rolled two joints, handed one to Sean.
Here Sean spark that up, see ye in a bit.
Good man Daithi.
I lit my joint, pulled my coat from under a chair and wrapped myself up. I grabbed my hat from under a foot and stuck it on my head.
I opened the door.
I walked down the drive.
Now to find out where I was. An estate, concrete jungle, kids playing on bikes, throwing eggs at each other. Classy. Hey kid. Ignored. Hey kid. The kid stops his bike, lofts his arm with the egg in it. Looks at me, sizes me up, holds fire.
What’s this place called?
He fires the egg. It misses by about an inch. He laughs and rides off.
I stand there for a minute and watch the playing cards attached to his wheel spokes go round clacking. It’s like they are repeating, what a fucking idiot over and over again. I agree.
I head towards what looks like the exit. fortunately after a few hundred yards I see the main road. There’s a bus stop. Cool. I check my pockets. No money. Ah fuck.
There’s a woman at the bus stop.
Excuse me could you tell me the road to Dublin.
Your on it son, she gives me a gentle smile. Go that way.
I look up the long road and see a sign Dublin 96 miles.
Cheers, thanks.
I cross the road, and hold out my thumb and watch cars whizz by in a hazy drug stupor.
After a time a car stopped. I run to catch it and hop in the driver seat.
Thanks very much, are you heading to Dublin?
I am son.
Ah great.
Where you from?
Donegal, Letterkenny.
You’re a long way from home lad, what brought you to Waterford?
Waterford? I wish I knew. I really wish i knew.


END